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Blond Jokes


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We have complied a list of great blond jokes and the jokes are growing daily! Check out these great one-liner blond jokes!


A Blind man enters a bar. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders adrink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loudvoice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell thatjoke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that youshould know five things:

One: The bartender is a blonde woman.
Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.
Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.
Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler
Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt inkarate, and a very bad attitude! Now, think about it seriously, mister. Doyou still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head ! and says: "Nah. Not ifI'm gonna have to explain it five times


Submitted by:
Scott
Tucson,Arizona




How can u tell a blonde has been on the computer?
theres white out on the screen.

How can u tell another blonde has been on the computer?
theres writing on the white out.

Submitted by:
Andy
Tucson,Arizona



How do you drowned a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool!

Submitted by:
Andy
Tucson,Arizona



Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings



Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
In case she had to draw some blood.



How do blondes' braincells die?
Alone.



Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.



A blonde was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
"It's supposed to be a tiger!" She cried.
"Honey," he said "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"



Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.

One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.



Three construction workers are having lunch on the scaffolding of a very tall building.

The Mexicano opens his lunch box, curses his wife and shouts ...I carumba!, if I have to eat another burrito for lunch I'm going to jump of this building to my death.

Then the irish guy opens his box, curses his wife and says "shur en be gora! if I have to eat another bowl of this irish stew i'm going to jump off this building to my death"

The Blonde american guy opens his lunch box, curses his wife and says "If I have to eat another peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'll jump off this building to my death.

The next day, the mexicano opens his lunch box and suddenly jumps off the building to his death.

Then the Irish guy opens his lunch box and jumps off the building to his death.

The blonde guy then opens his lunch box, looks at his P B and J curses his wife and jumps to his death.

At the funeral the wives of the 3 men were all talking. The Mexicano's wife says "If I knew he didnt want burritos that bad I would of have made him taco's" and she starts crying.

The Irish guys wife chimes in and says "If I knew he didnt want stew I would have made him pot roast and she starts crying.

Then the blonde guys wife pipes in and says, "Dont look at me, He made his own lunch"

Submitted by:
Greg
Carlsbad,California




Please e-mail us if you would like to add any funny blond jokes you may have or any funny junk!



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